Healer of heartache.
Soother of souls.
Warrior of weight gain.
According to the most popular bookmark we sell in our bookstore, ‘chocolate fixes everything’. This is clearly rubbish and I’ve thought about it long enough to say so with certainty. But chocolate does appear to contain some magical soma-like property that humans for thousands of years have failed to resist.
When making a list of New Year’s resolutions most people tend to gravitate to those that deprive them of something—quit smoking, drink less, eat healthier, exercise more, save money. But the truth is if you really wanted to do any of these things you’d be doing them already. Breaking a habit takes far more dedication and focus than most people are prepared for. And preparation really is the key.
That’s why I’ve chosen to eat my weight in chocolate as one of my resolutions because it’s better to reward than to punish. I’m not the kind of person who can eat a block of chocolate, a tub of ice cream, or a pack of biscuits in one sitting as the guilt would compel me to run around the block 50 times in penance. (Or, more specifically, ONCE because I’m not that fit.) However if there’s no chocolate in the house at precisely 8pm every night to accompany my evening cup of tea it’s not unusual to find me hiding in the cupboard snorting cocoa, eating spoonfuls of dry milo or swilling chocolate topping.
Having established in my last post how much I like a buffet then clearly a chocolate buffet is the absolute pinnacle of all dining experiences. Sure, it may not offer as much variety as say, Sizzler (and I’m not just talking about types of bacteria) but it does offer more in the way of SIN. Because according to the second commandment ‘thou shalt not eat their weight in chocolate’. Strike me down oh Lord, because in the immortal words of Dawn French when faced with a chocolate fountain, I’m going in!!!
This month Bistro Allure is holding their seventh annual ‘40 days and 40 nights’ chocolate buffet for $25 a person (although if you happen to be looking for a Brisbane chocolate buffet experience outside of September/October then Stamford Plaza host their chocolate high tea every Saturday and Sunday for $42pp). It took all of a second to convince my chocoholic mother to be my sweet-toothed date.
On arrival we did a whip around to survey the treats that were soon to be in our bellies. On offer was a fridge ‘choc’ full of tarts and sweets, a chocolate fountain, a freezer of ice cream with a range of different toppings, a counter of cakes, vases full of jaffas and chocolate covered honeycomb as well as chocolate pancakes, croissants and puddings. Is your mouth watering? Well it should be.
But what to shove in our faces first? A profiterole, a strawberry ramanoff and a pot of tea, that’s what. I don’t really like profiteroles but I regularly forget this because it’s easy to get caught up in their hype. This one was a little dry but the ramanoff was destined to be a hit as it combined my favourite flavours of berry and chocolate in a strawberry-topped-mousse-like package.
Next we bombarded the chocolate fountain with skewers of strawberries, melon and marshmallows. The chocolate was runny and thick, becoming hard on impact with the fruit but still soft enough to scoop off your plate by the finger load. I did find an extremely suspicious hair in my chocolate but we shall forget about that in the interests of maintaining your jealousy.
Mum then went on to sample a white chocolate and berry cheesecake while I gutsed myself on ice cream flavours such a cookie dough, coconut, double chocolate and choc-mint.
By this time my sweet tooth was well and truly satiated and I began to crave a savoury. Unfortunately, unlike the Stamford Plaza chocolate high tea which I’d sampled many eons ago there were no savouries on offer as part of the buffet (nor was there chocolate spaghetti but thou shalt not be picky) and so we decided to purchase a plate of sea salt encrusted chips from the regular lunch menu. Delish!
Mum eventually had to prise my fingers from the table to get me to leave the land of chocolate, even though I was now so rotund that I had to be rolled out Violet Beauregarde style, but it’s simply not often enough that such a range of treats is there for guiltless scoffing.
So if you’re interested in getting your chocolate on there’s a couple more weeks to take your loved one along to the brunch, lunch or dinner sessions at the Sebel King George Square. I’ll be the one standing outside with my face pressed against the window drooling.